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Anxiety, fear of letting go and being pissed off

Today I went to the hospital to find out what’s wrong with me.

I’ve been sick all summer and now an X-ray examination has revealed a cyst in my bladder.
At the same time a pain in my left shoulder is killing me and I also have a blister.

I have of course checked Louise Hay “Heal Your Life” to find out that bladder stands for anxiety, fear of letting go and being pissed off, and shoulder represents the ability to carry out experiences in life joyously. Blisters are resistance and lack of emotional protection.

Bam! How funny is that!
(more about that later on…)

I’m strongly in favour of knowing the psychosomatic causes of one’s diseases, but in my opinion a lot of (particularly spiritual) people make themselves victims and focus too much on deeper meanings, astrological reasons, past lives etc, in stead of doing something to actually change whatever’s unbalanced in their lives.
I know I also do it sometimes because it’s to painful to dive into old traumas.

It’s a good thing to be aware, but if nothing changes besides getting aware, the problems will still be there.
My plan to get well is to identify and alter self destructive patterns, move away from things in my life that have a negative effect on me in general, do more of what I love doing and change the way I eat.

Both my homeopath and body therapist say that there’s some kind of inflammation in my body, and have recomended me to try out anti-inflammatory foods.
It’s no secret that taking care of my body doesn’t come easy to me, even though I actually enjoy exercise and healthy food.
But sometimes it’s like as if I freeze and sabotage myself by eating a lot of crap and not getting the exercise I know will do me good.

I really want to give it a go with the anti-inflammatory foods and as I write this I’m at this really cool place California Kitchen i Copenhagen, having a gingerkombucha and a healthy bowl of vegetables, beans, avocado, tofu and what have we.

Realisticaly knowing that challenging times are waiting for me this afternoon when my craving for sweets kick in, but I hope to persevere and get by with tea, almonds and dark chocolate…


PS. The cyst is not malignant and I am ok.


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